Funny Sayings About Retirement

Chelsea Miles

8 Feb, 2022

You cant help getting older but you dont have to get old George Burns 4. Old age is like everything else.

70 Best Funny Inspirational Retirement Quotes

Unknown Author I always arrive late at the office but I make up for it by leaving early.

. You are only young once but you can stay immature indefinitely. Unknown author retirement is waking up in the morning with nothing to do and by bedtime having done only half of it. The trouble with retirement is that you dont get a day off.

A man cant retire his experience. Unknown Author Im retired goodbye tension hello pension. Retirement takes all the meaning out of weekends.

Funny Retirement Wishes _Retirement is like graduation- only this time you will do a masters on laziness. Its not the end of your life its the end of your bank account. 2 Old age fragile bones doctor visits medical checkups and a weak bladder are you still looking forward to retirement.

50 funny retirement quotes. The best is yet to come. From funny retirement one liners to retirement toast quotes short and funny sayings about retirement have a variety of uses.

Funny Quotes About Retirement Age is an issue of mind over matter. Welcome to the next phase of life. Funny Retirement Quotes Retirement.

If you also want to know how you can make your retirement life blissful check out our retirement investment and other financial blogs to help you plan for it. When you quit working just before your heart does. It is a retired person.

Now that youre retired you can binge-watch all those great Netflix shows. Think about retirement as being two six-month holidays per year. Share this quote on Facebook Send via Mail A new life awaits.

But Im still happy-ish for you. Whether youre writing a retirement roast speech or just putting a funny note in a greeting card these are some hilarious ways to congratulate coworkers on retirement. Retirement is Hello Pension and bye tension.

I couldnt be happier unless of course I was the one retiring. _Now you get a new boss who knows about your true work ethic organizational skills and excuses. Retirement is when you will finally curse yourself for using an important deadline at work as an excuse for not taking care of your body all these years Unknown 6Congratulations on retiring.

Soni It is better to live rich than to die rich. Old age is always fifteen years older than I am Oliver Wendell Holmes 2. Spouses make the toughest bosses.

Anon 0 Age is only a number a cipher for the records. - Bill Watterson. Unknown author the worst thing about retirement is having to drink coffee on your own time.

So take time to read our funny retirement speech jokes. Its nice to get out of the rat race but you have to learn to get along with less cheese Gene Perret Spreading sheets sounds more appealing than a spreadsheet Unknown The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. Here are Funny Retirement Sayings for Cards Retirement means No Alarms No commute and No Problems.

- Unknown When some people retire its going to be mighty hard to be able to tell the difference. He must use it. Behind every retired man it is a woman hoping him to go back to work.

Funny Quotes to Say Happy Retirement. _For someone who looks forward to lay around all day retirement must be thrilling. If you dont mind it doesnt matter Mark Twain Retirement.

-Retirement can be funny and terrifying at the same time. This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. Funny Retirement Sayings Also Suitable for Appraisals He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.

I have a lot of years left before I retire but I will gladly take pointers from you. Our funny retirement messages give you lots of ideas on how you could introduce some humor into a card email caption or speech to express some fun retirement sentiments. When your boss or work colleague is retiring it tends to be a fun occasion where folks are looking for a reason to laugh.

Abe Lemons 65 tips for a healthy wealthy and happy retirement. - Virginia Graham Theres never enough time to do all the nothing you want. Robert Benchley Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous.

What do you call a person who is happy on Monday. Abe Lemons 0 Happiness is being retired and spending all of my kids inheritance before I die. We only hate you a little.

Its doing nothing without worrying about. Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

Funny Retirement Quotes. The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. This man has delusions of adequacy.

Funny Retirement Quotes The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. I know you will have a rocking time with retired life. Thats when you return from work one day and say Hi honey Im home forever Gene Perret Retirement is the worlds longest coffee break Author Unknown When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance his colleagues generally present him with a watch RC.

Funny Retirement Quotes for your Friend Even though you hate this job you will miss it right. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge. Adding some appropriate humor where folks are laughing with everyone and not at.

Retirement is like coming home one day and telling your wife honey Im home for good. 1 Retirement is the beginning of the time when you can sit back and give advice to others even though you never followed it in your own life. While were meeting deadlines youll be meeting friends on the golf course.

If you have negative thoughts about retirement go through these quotes and lets us help change the attitude. I thought we were just all excited you were getting new tires on your car. Retirement is just a never-ending vacation.

-Retirement opens the gates of doing all the funny activities that you have wanted to do in the days of your job but could not fulfil those desires due to time constraints. No job no stress no pay Unknown Retire from work but not from life MK. Happiness isnever having to use another work acronym.

Make a retiring colleague laugh with these funny quotes about retirement. Have fun watching your lifes savings dwindle out Unknown 7My parents didnt want to move to Florida but they turned sixty and thats the law. Theres no dress code but you probably cant afford clothes anymore.

Funny Retirement Quotes 1. The best part about retirement is that you dont have to worry about getting caught for doing nothing. The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.

She got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasnt watching. To make a success of it youve got to start young Theodore Roosevelt 3. Unknown author im.

The idea of never using your alarm clock after decades of service life can be exasperating. His men would follow him anywhere but only out of morbid curiosity. Retirement is waking up in the morning with nothing to do and by bedtime having done only half of it.

Baruch 0 Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.

Funny Quotes About Retirement 4 Picture Quotes